Monday, July 6, 2009

Webster's Definition

Have you ever known someone who works the graveyard shift? When I was a wee-little-one (ok, choke, choke... a freshman in highschool!) one of my Youth Group counselors told me he worked the "graveyard shift" and wouldn't be able to go on the up-coming all-nighter. I remember chillz went up my spine as I pictured him walking up and down the dark eerie paths of burial sites, upon burial sites of dead people. I wondered to myself if he sometimes had to help shovel some of the dirt that was maybe left undone from a burial. Eeeks! Ghosts, spirits, spookyness...yikes!! I looked so differently at him, until I learned the true definition of "graveyard shift." Oh how embarassing!! If only my parents hadn't sheltered me so much... you would DIE if you knew how long I believed in Santa Claus! DIE!! You might even see a picture of me in Guinness World Records!

Well, I'm now in my 30's and I'm learning yet another whole new definition about "night-shifts," that has blessed my soul... and instead of scaring me like it did before, it has removed my fear and trembling.

As many of you know, I'm pregnant! I never thought I'd see the day again! We tried for almost a year, and though a year seems like nothing to some... it seemed like an eternity for me. Each month proved to be a testing of my faith, hope, and love. So I just knew, the day I pee'd on that pregnancy test and it came back positive, I was going to throw a party and shout from the roof-tops- "Tira is barren no more!!!!!"

Well, as life would have it... Yoichi and I are back on our knees. We never really got to throw that "Fertile-Baby" party! :) I'm experiencing some complications with this little one inside of me, and it has frozen me with fear. I am mixed with an array of emotions... and more recently I think I've detached myself from the joy of being pregnant, as an act of "self-preservation."

But today, as GOD would have it... Pat and Kim let me borrow a book, God Works the Night Shift. It hit me right where I needed it today! I know so many of us out there are going thru tough things that are out of our control and are shaking our faith. Maybe you have a healthy baby,... but you are going thru a financial struggle, or someone in your family is very sick, or your hurt by someone close to you. Let's face it, it's dark and scary! And sometimes we are frightened, almost to a point where we are immobilized. That's kinda where I find myself recently.

What restored my heart today was the great reminder that God is working the night-shift. God is always at work in all the details of our lives. He never sleeps or slumbers. He is taking care of us and all our concerns, every step of the way. Everything that is complicated, everything that is hurting us, He is ROMANS 8:28-29ing it for us!

Romans 8:28-29 says, "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many."

Yes, He's working things together for good--- AND, He's making you and me more like His Son! The difficult situations we are in are making us mature in Christ, full and complete. It's all a part of His Masterpiece.

Everyday that I am pregnant, I am truly THANKFUL to God. Every day, I am also concerned, scared, and in desperate need of hope... I share this with you today, because I'd like my friends and family to embrace this process with me. And remind me that God is in control when I forget! :) I have no idea what the outcome is, but my hopes and hearts desire is to have a beautiful healthy baby in January 2010. And I hope by sharing my journey, everyone will experience this miracle with me... and not just the end-result. But believe me, there will be an "After-Party!" Whoop whoop!!!! :)

is there something that's shaking your faith? i'd love to hear how you are dealing with it. Lets exchange notes and hugs! :)
t xoxo.

6 comments:

Me & My Boys said...

AWESOME post girl!!! God has such great things in store for all of us, and by sharing your journey, I know it's going to bless someone else right where they need it! That precious baby of yours will be covered with sooo many prayers and we will all have a miracle to celebrate in January, I KNOW it!!!

So glad the book could be a blessing and even more than that so glad to see God faithfully wrapping you in His arms!!!! He IS working everything for GOOD!!!!

BIG HUGS my friend!!! And continual prayers!!! We Love you ALL sooo much!!! xoxo

Amy said...

Tira, thanks so much for sharing your heart. I think it helps us all realize our own vulnerability, which is so necessary as we learn to depend on Christ.

The first part of Psalm 139 is so encouraging when we sometimes don't have the words to pray....that our Heavenly Father KNOWS us and cares for us deeply. He knows our greatest fears and our brightest hopes.

Verse 12, "even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you." He is with you in these "dark" and unsure times, let Him be your light!

I will be praying for you!

amber dawn said...

Tira...you are one of the most rad girls I know. :) Thanks for opening yourself up and for sharing your heart with us. You are right, and need to keep reading your post over and over again. Remind yourself day in and day out that 'God is in Control'. No matter what the outcome, I know that God loves this baby just as much as he loves every other person walking this earth...just as much as he loves you, Yo and Nixon. Only He knows what is best for all of you. I will continue to pray for you guys. I love you soooo much, my friend. Thank the Lord we have hope in Christ. I'm so glad that you aren't facing this situation without a God. Amen.

Kristy said...

Thanks for sharing Tira! What a testimony of the goodness of God that we praise Him in the midst of trials and still trust Him when we don't understand and still hope in Him when we fear the worst. I am praying daily for you and your little one!!

Grace Moseley said...

Thank you for this. It was soo encouraging! I will be praying for you and the li'l peanut.
let's get together soon.
love ya

NixonsMamma said...

Thanks everyone!!

What a journey! :)

I appreciate your love and support!
xoxo.